by Debbie Treijs
(published in The Compleat Mother, Spring 1996)
It just dawned on me that my husband and I are opposites. I like lentils and brown
rice, he likes Kraft Macaroni Cheese and hoagies. I go to bed late, he goes to
bed early. He thinks the house is messy, I think its fine. He reads Men's
Journal, I read the Compleat Mother. I am sure you are getting the picture: it
is not exactly marital bliss. What bothers me the most though, is that we were
exactly the same seven years ago! HE used to suggest going for a tempeh burger
and carrot juice. We used to go to bed TOGETHER at the SAME TIME even before we
were tired. And he liked my messy cluttered apartment and would have thought I
was boring if it had been too clean. We would both read the same book and then
discuss it over a bottle of wine until closing at our favourite cafe. The only
restaurants I go to now are the ones with crayons, bright lights and an all-you-
can-eat-buffet! Aha, it is the kids!
Well, maybe part of it is my fault. Maybe I have been a little too wrapped up
in this mothering thing. Maybe he is tired of drinking orange juice out of
green plastic cups decorated with dancing bears or maybe he is bored of pancakes
in the shape of Mickey Mouse, or he really doesn't like my new full-length
flannel pajamas even though he said he did. Maybe it is just too much for him.
I decided to try a return of the old me. I bought a bottle of wine, got into my
sexiest flannels, undid the top buttons, lit a couple of candles, blew the dust
off the box of kiddie preventors, and I was ready. He was snoring so nicely I
hated to wake him, but I knew that after I gave him the old "come and get me" kiss, I
would not be able to keep him off me. I gave him a kiss; a caress. Still
snoring. I tried a gentle nudge: nothing. I rolled him over and finally, I got:
"Huh?...what is it? Do you have to go pee pee?"
"No, it's me...Debbie".
notices my hand on his leg. "What are you doing?" he asks almost accusingly.
"Oh", I say (the heat of the moment passing), "Just making sure you have enough
"Ya, I'm okay, thanks" he says. He looks at me: "Your buttons are
"Thanks", I say, "Goodnight".
I blow out the candles and crawl in next to him, and we snuggle together close,
like spoons. Ah, marital bliss!
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